Several weeks ago, I had the opportunity to interview the smart and hilarious Toni Nagy, writer and comedian responsible for creating sketch comedy videos based on current events, which were - at the time of our interview - all very COVID-19-centric.

Weren’t we so cute when we thought all we had to deal with was a global pandemic?? When our heads could stay firmly planted in the ground and remain blind to systemic racism?? Hahahahaha, adorable!

Interview With Writer And Comedian Toni Nagy | Bring Mommy A Martini

The whole world has turned upside down since Toni and I wrapped up our interview, and while the Q’s & A’s in this post do touch on her passion for social issues, we don’t get into specifics about the death of George Floyd or the subsequent protests and long overdue shot in the arm for the Black Lives Matter movement, simply because they hadn’t happened, yet.

Toni has released this video on the matter, though, and it’s fantastic:

On to our interview.

Interview With Writer & Comedian, Toni Nagy

KB: You’ve created a lot of videos about our current global health crisis, and I can’t help but think that it must be a type of therapy for you. Is that the case, and if so, what do you find helpful about it?

TN: Making art is definitely my therapy for dealing with pain, both my personal problems and my sorrow about the world. By trying to make something funny, I can transform my feelings of sadness, at least momentarily. Sometimes I feel really useless and impotent.

I am aware of the tribulations in the world, yet the systems of the status quo feel so daunting and impossible to overcome.

In my 20s I was a social and political activist living in New York, and I naively felt that I could change the world with my passion and commitment. Over time, I became disillusioned and heartbroken. I wanted to believe that we were on the brink of social, political, and economic revolution, but I slowly realized how much the culture is invested in and dependent on collective complacency. I have so much respect for activists like Shaun King who keep fighting the endless fight, trying to change policy, believing in the possibility of improvement.

I moved out of the city and started my little family, and turned to comedy and making videos as a way to still be a part of the conversation, to not just be spinning in a tornado of my own sense of futility. From a selfish perspective, playing in the land of imagination and the absurd is how I deal with how awful I feel.

My ultimate goal is to integrate my comedic work with my desire to be part of the necessary paradigm shift of society. But like, with lots of dick jokes along the way.

KB: You’ve said in your blog that you’re a bit of a workaholic - how has the quarantine impacted your work life? What does quarantine look like for you?

TN: As a workaholic, my art gives my life meaning in way that nothing else really does. Of course, as a mom, my kid inherently makes me feel important, and I’m grateful for the purpose my child has given me. Yet at the same time, I have this craving to continue my exploration of self in my work that no other human can fill or satiate. My artistic pursuits anchor my mind and spirit to my abstract goals. In my heart I know I will never fully achieve my goals, because I will always have the next goal, but the illusion of success and the spinning wheels of trying at least keeps me busy.

The quarantine has been both a blessing and a curse for this tendency. I am doing 99% of the homeschooling with my kid (as I am sure many moms are), so I no longer have the same amount of time to explore my own agenda. I can’t enter into a flow state of being home alone and working because I am constantly being interrupted, or needing to make a sandwich.

I have made 40,000 sandwiches this month alone.

Yet this extra time with my child is truly a gift, and much like when she was a baby, I have to be smarter with my time. It’s forcing me to prioritize, focus, and ask myself: “Is what I am doing really worth time spent away from my kid who is experiencing a fucking pandemic and can’t see any of her friends?”

Also, I’m putting my daughter in some of my videos, which is really fun for us both. She’s a great sport and it gives us a common goal and project to focus on.

KB: You’ve written quite a bit about your daughter - she seems to be a bit of an old soul. I thought this post was funny, how she had you take a break from reading Charlotte’s Web because it made you so emotional. Do you two often have this type of role-reversal? Are you seeing any of that during this coronavirus situation? (I should mention here that my oldest son is 8 and a half years older than my other son and my oldest has MANY TIMES stepped in when he felt I wasn’t mothering his brother enough. “Mom! Get that out of his mouth! He can’t have that, GOOD LORD!” **eye roll**)

TN: My daughter is an only child and I think kids that grow up without siblings often are “old souls.” They have to spend so much time integrating into an adult world, so that forces them into a different relationship with emotional maturity. They don’t have a comrade or partner-in-crime to keep them in kid consciousness when home. Instead, she has to adapt to the adult world around her.

I expect a lot from her, maybe to a fault. We have spent her whole childhood deconstructing emotions and discussing human motivations. My daughter has a real curiosity about people and is very social, so she innately wants to understand herself and others.

I think during this coronavirus time we’ve really started to establish our friendship past the parent/child role, which of course we will never truly escape. But there has been this extra time to dive into our connection in a way that’s beyond the normal “get ready for school, drop you off at gymnastics, now you have a friend over” type of living.

Because of my own upbringing, I really try to “mother” my daughter in a specific way— I am trying to provide her with the attention and care I craved so much as a kid. I guess we are all just parenting our own inner-child, right?

I aim to be an example to her when it comes to self-reflection, which doesn’t mean be perfect all the time, but rather, open hearted enough to explore growth.

KB: Is your area starting to “open back up,” and loosen the quarantine restrictions? If so, how do you feel about that and what will that look like for you?

TN: [As of May 14, 2020] Our area is still pretty much the same in terms of lockdown, but I guess things will change in the weeks to come? I think for me the one thing that is most important is to not go back to the way things were. I want to maintain the lessons of what this whole thing is about— not taking anything for granted— people, food, the environment, etc.

I want to be changed by this and I welcome how I will continue to change as the months unfold.

KB: Maintaining mental health is more of a challenge right now for many people than it has ever been before. Do you have any special practices or advice for keeping it all together?

TN: I am a huge believer in meditation and physical activity as a means of maintaining emotional health. I have done two 10-day silent meditation retreats at a Chinese Buddhist center and both of those experiences rocked me to my core.

Meditation is a crucial aspect of my sense of wellbeing. I have a lot of manic energy, and need to move in order to deal with existence— otherwise I get too anxious. I meditate to ground my spirit and I move to lift my spirits. I am a dancer and own a dance studio where I teach hip hop, modern, and belly dance.

For me, dance is my anti-depressant.

KB: When we aren’t having a pandemic, what does a normal work life look like for you? How has that changed / what is your new-normal work life like? Think any of the changes will be permanent once we get this virus thing figured out?

TN: My normal work consists of teaching dance and running the dance studio, writing, performing comedy, and making videos. During the pandemic I have been teaching my dance classes online, which is both rewarding and exhausting. Part of teaching is feeling the essence and energy of the people in the room, feeding off the collective vibration that we develop. That is impossible to achieve in the same way over Zoom, but we are doing our best.

So hopefully that’s not permanent because I think people coming together to dance is a glorious aspect of the art form! I also do stand-up comedy which is currently impossible, but I’ve been channeling that itch into more video work. I think so much needs to change for us culturally and I am ready and open to see what that looks like.

With climate change, we are on a path towards suicide, and only extreme events are going to pause that trajectory.

I don’t think we should go back to life as it was, but I also don’t claim to know what exactly the future should look like.

All I know for sure is we need to re-imagine capitalism, our political system, Wall Street, our relationship to the earth, and also everything in between. I know there is this hope from Silicon Valley that technology is going to save us and all we need to do is develop the right A.I. or what have you, but I don’t agree with that mentality.

Plus, I think that sex bots are going to be really gross to clean.

I think that humanity needs a spiritual upgrade during which we examine our priorities. We need to substitute the drive for money, power, and domination with community, caring, and joy. I acknowledge that might sound a little corny or kumbaya, but the hippies were onto something with all their free love and acid.